I don't want it to end

There are some things I want to get off my chest. It might make me feel better but I don't know.

The end is coming. The 25th of June is only two days away. Could everything be over in two days?

I heard from one source the investigation was expected to be tied up in June. June is almost over meaning the investigation is almost over or that it is going on longer than originally expected.

I made a decision in relation to Hector some time ago. Caring about someone means putting them before yourself right? When the investigation is over I expect Hector is just going to go back to his life and it would probably be the last I see of him. Certain things I have seen combined with what he has said to me directly make me think he is not the type to take time to stay in touch. I can accept that. I have friends but how much effort do I make to stay in touch?

For the same reason I think I am pretty same posting on here because besides the main boards and checking email I don't think Hector spends much time checking other sources like Facebook or Twitter or Myspace. My blog would be very low down on the list.

I think that the kindest think that I can do for Hector is when the time comes to let him walk away without kicking up a fuss or otherwise doing anything to make him feel guilty about it.

If I made him feel guilty he might choose to stay in touch without really wanting to out of a kind of sense of obligation. Otherwise he would not but would feel guilty on some level about it. Far better then just to play it that I am not bothered about about our going our separate ways. Then he can walk away guilt free. I feel that this is what he would want.

How about me? I can give myself logical reasons why I should not care. I don't know Hector that well. This means there is a real chance that what I have become attached to isn't real. You can't have a friendship with someone or something which does not exist. This is only logical. I have lots of other friends too as no doubt he does too. Why does some random friend a long way away whom I don't know that well matter when I have many others closer. Do I really think he would care? I mean even overlooking my being so far away, I am not even all that interesting.

Who am I kidding? I tell myself these things. They are certainly logical. I know full well it is going to hurt when it is all over. That said I just have to accept what is coming. When I was serving on a mission how many people did I become dear and close friends with only to say goodbye to them and never see them again. Such is the world of a single guy. All you have is your friends but friends come and go. People move and circumstances change. I have learned just to deal with it because of having to go through it so much. Does this mean I don't care? I think I do what I do because I care too much.

With Hector my interest has been piqued. I know enough to make me interested in knowing more. I know logically if I knew him completely there is a chance I would not like him as much. I think chances are I will never know.

It is as well that chances are Hector is not going to know. I think he is better off not knowing. I just put on a brave face and everyone will be happy. Stick with the plan. You made a choice. Choose to act....choose to act Carl.

Baron and Hector fighting yet again

I suppose it was too good to last. Seeing the video from the Librarian caused Hector to panic. He ran away. This looked suspicious naturally and Baron ended up chasing him. It ended with Baron attacking Hector with pliers to try and prove or disprove that he was real.

Poor Hector. I did get a chance to talk to him about it and it seems he just panicked. Some thought he was the Librarian but it didn't take too long to find logical flaws in that theory. I will always stand by Hector.

Previously Hector said that the Jump was a good thing. He never qualified why that was the case. Does he know the Jump is good for certain or is it just wishful thinking on his part?

Melting Men in Blue Jump Suits.

A Jumpsuit covered in that strange slime has been discovered. This looks much like the substance found in the woods. Are the guys in blue melting? Scientifically I find that a tad difficult to envisage. It almost would not surprise me if the Cartel just left it there to confuse us. Still it does raise questions.

What could do that to someone? Was the person even a complete person to begin with or something else. I remember reading about "thought forms", beings created through meditation. These beings are a thing or legend. I cannot explain what this is about and feel I would just be grasping at straws to try.

Baron of Byberry

So long since I last posted here. I think I will split between multiple posts. Gerrymander is Lint Julep. Baron and Lint both have been the victim of experiments at Byberry. It looks like Baron's conditioning was breaking down and the Cartel decided to patch him up. Saying that they saved his life is nonsense apparently. Naturally Baron is shaken up by this revelation. Hector may well be the victim of him lashing out with angry outbursts. I think Baron is going to be upset under the surface. Frustrated by not knowing what is true and what is a lie in his life. For a tough guy like Baron Anger is the natural facade for him to use to mask what he is really feeling. The slices will need to be at the ready to pick up the pieces if Baron starts to crumble.

There are still unanswered questions. When were Baron and Lint at Byberry? My rough calculations would state that they would have been children or young teens at the time Byberry closed. Either they were experimented on as children or Byberry did not close when it is historically said to have.

The connection with San Diego is still unclear. Perhaps more will become clear in time.

JavaOne

All is a bit quiet in PIE land right now. The reason being that our indomitable leaders are visiting JavaOne. I have already seen photographic evidence that Baron and Hector have been in close proximity with The Wish. The magic will have happened by now but we have to sit and wait to see the result.

I must admit that I have been quite eaten up not to be able to attend in person. I wish I could have been there but I couldn't and must get over that.

My eyes and ears have become those who have been able to be there. Jonathan Giles has been good in that sense. I even got an honourable mention from Jenn and Heidi.

I wish I could have been involved in the investigation sooner but I cannot turn back the clock.

For now I am left to sit and wait. In the mean time I am assimilating all the information which I can about what has been announced. JavaOne produces so much information it can take weeks or months to get through it all.